Learning And Life – The Victor and Victim Syndrome
We all know people who appear to breeze through life, happily moving from one triumph to the next. On the other hand, we know others who never quite make it, and always have an answer why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude.
It’s essential when moving into a new career direction to adopt the habits of the victor to achieve the right outcome. Victims attempt actions over-cautiously, hoping for good things, but never really feeling they’re worthy of great things. The victors mentally commit to a successful outcome, and support their actions with emotion.
Take two tennis players about to play for a championship. One says “It’s my last chance – I’ll give it my best shot,” but the other says “Winning is my destiny.” No prizes for guessing who’ll win the tournament. They may both put in the same hours, but the victor spends more time on his mental training to win.
The victor is defined by the word OAR – a figure paddling towards success. The victim is defined by the word BED – one who stays in bed and gives up. OAR = Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility. BED = Blame, Excuses and Denial.
The victor takes ownership of his or her tasks, not expecting someone else to lead the way. He’s accountable for his actions, and so takes them seriously, seeing things through by tackling problems not creating them. He’s responsible for the results of his actions, and so doesn’t take excuses from himself.
In the victim’s eyes, there’s always a reason why he’s not achieving, and it’s rarely to do with himself. It’s always someone else’s fault – he feels out of control so justifies it by blaming someone else. He makes excuses for his lack of performance, but the only person he’s convincing is himself. With this continual pattern of blame and excuses, the victim lives a life of complete denial, convinced that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about his situation.
Students approaching a life-changing training program need to give themselves a mental work-out, to stack the odds in their favour. Anyone who’s a fully paid up member of the victim society will have to address their issues before they start, to truly embrace the potential in front of them.
The two sets of attitudes are both just habits. With constant repetition over time, habits can be changed. Listen to the little voice in your head – if it’s obviously a victim, then consciously stop it and verbalise why you can achieve. Nobody else is any better than you are – some have just conquered their demons and emerged victorious.
“There is no such thing as a hero, only those who rise to the occasion”. Those were the words of Winston Churchill, and they’re just as valid today. We need to have the attitude of a winner in order to become a winner, both in learning and in life.
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